Hope = You are building a better future
Reading time: 4 mins
Summary
You can create confidence in a better future by defining it, collaborating with others to improve it, and treating the process like a journey rather than a final destination.
Hope vs. Hopelessness
Hope = Confident the future will be better than today.
Hopelessness = Unconfident the future will be better than today.
Comment
I feel that hope comes from taking action to shape tomorrow.
Quotes
“The best way to predict the future is to create it.” Peter Drucker.
“Those who don’t learn from the past are doomed to repeat its mistakes.” Churchill.
Word Models
Comment
Creating a better future through iteration: I think it’s important to have a vision for a better future and continually update it.
Also, progress is typically not linear: “two steps forward, one step back.”
Multiplayer vs. Single Player Approaches
Comment
Working with someone normally involves some tradeoffs (ie things you can’t do), but done well it provides many more things you can do that far more than offset any things you would have done just by yourself.
Hoping to find a good today vs Trying to build a great future.
Hoping to find a good today = 1. Are accepting the existing story as ‘good’ and not building your own stories * 2. Reliant on finding something good = Best outcome is you find something that is good today but the future is the same as today (ie doesn’t get better) = Hope is low.
Also, the standard story is changing significantly over time anyways. The bottom half of this blog is about how stories of parenting have changed over time.
Trying to build a great future = 1. Yes a good starting point (today) is better than a bad starting point + 2. But over time the future hopefully is way better than where you are today, so in the long run today is relatively unimportant = Best outcome is that future is constantly getting better than today = Hope is high.
Comment
On Robert Kegan’s model of development. I’d call looking for a good today 'socialised mind’, and trying to build a great future ‘self authoring’.
How to Apply in Your Real Life:
Define Your Better Future: Take time to write down what “better” looks like—professionally, personally, relationally.
Discuss and Update: Share this vision with friends, family, colleagues, or partners, and refine it based on their insights.
Take Action: Identify small steps you can take today toward that future. Even if you stumble, recognize it’s “two steps forward, one step back.”
Partner Up: Seek out collaborators who can expand your horizons, offer support, and increase the odds that tomorrow truly can surpass today.
Review and Adjust: Regularly revisit your plan. As conditions change, update your vision. Remember, it’s a journey, not a destination.
Example - Work
Are you on the same team working to build a better future together?
If you feel like having someone else around makes it incrementally likely the future is better than not having them around then you want them around.
Anyone who can increase the chance the future better is someone i want to have around. Positive sum :).
Example - Romantic Relationships
High chance the future is better than today = 1. Discuss together what you think a better future could look like * 2. Update this idea over time (life is a journey not a destination) * 3. Put in some investment to make the future better than today (hope is not a strategy), but done well this investment doesn’t feel like work but an investment with an almost instant payback as you have increased confidence the future will be better than today and as such not doing it is silly.
If you only take away one thing
Hope isn’t just a feeling—it’s an approach supported by vision, collaboration, and ongoing effort.
Building rather than settling is a great strategy for hope.