Reputation Is Built in Bad Times: The Fair & Reasonable + 1 Playbook
The FR+1 Rule: Reputation Is Built in Bad Times
Good reputation = Acting well in bad times = Doing a bit more than is fair and reasonable.
Bad things will happen. Projects slip. Partnerships fray. Relationships end. In those moments, your reputation is decided by what you do next - not by what you post, promise, or intend. My rule of thumb: find what’s fair and reasonable, then do a little more. I call it FR+1.
Trust = Consistency * Time
Reputation in bad times > Reputation in good times? I think it so.
Reputation ≈ (Bad‑Time Actions) × (Consistency)
FR+1 can feel “costly” in the short term. Over time, it’s a bargain. Why? Because your reputation is worth its weight in gold: it’s your ability to do future partnerships, to earn a seat at the table, to be trusted when stakes are high. Acting well in bad times should give you more good future partnership opportunities. In this light, acting well in bad times can be considered an investment for a good future.
Short‑term cost (C) vs Expected future opportunities (O) × Probability unlocked by trust (p) × Value per opportunity (V) → if O·p·V > C, FR+1 is rational.
Reputation compounds because new partners reference old partners, especially about bad‑time behavior.
FR+1
FR+1 = Fair & Reasonable + a small, deliberate surplus.
Fair & Reasonable (FR): The baseline that a neutral third party would call equitable given the facts, norms, and agreements.
+1: A modest, visible gesture beyond FR - time, money, effort, flexibility, introductions, transparency, or risk-sharing.
The “+1” doesn’t have to be extravagant. It has to be legible (the other person sees it), targeted (solves a pain that matters), and finite (generous once, not forever).
Jingles
Fair is fine; +1 is divine.
To be fair, add a flair (+1).
Why FR+1 Helps
Reputation compounds. Partners talk most about how you behave when things go wrong. That story travels.
It converts pain into trust. A small surplus during a tense moment signals character: you value the relationship over the transaction.
It’s rational, not just noble. Short‑term cost vs. long‑term option value on future opportunities. If the trust you generate opens doors later, FR+1 pays back.
It defines you. How you treat partners when things didn’t go well says more about you than how you treat partners when things did go well.
Hope for the best. Plan for the worst. And when the worst happens, act a little better than fair.
How to Apply FR+1 (A 5‑Step Playbook)
1) Clarify the facts and set the FR baseline.
Separate outcomes from intent. What was promised? What exists in writing? What do policy, contract, or local norms require? Aim for a standard a calm outsider would call fair.
2) Choose your +1 intentionally.
Pick something specific and meaningful:
Time: extra week to transition, extended support window.
Money: modest top‑up payment, covering a one‑off cost.
Effort: a bonus deliverable, a final cleanup task, resume help.
Access: introductions, referrals, references.
Flexibility: scheduling grace, logistics help, a neutral tone in public.
3) Say it out loud.
Make the gesture explicit so it lands as intended.
“I’m aiming to be a bit better than fair here. The baseline is X; I’ll also do Y to make this easier.”
4) Document and deliver.
Write the agreement. Include dates, amounts, responsibilities. Deliver promptly without drama. Close the loop.
5) Reflect and log.
Capture what happened, what your FR was, what your +1 was, and what you learned. Share the principle with your team. Update templates.
Examples
Example 1: A team member is placed on a performance plan (PIP)
Run the PIP properly (FR+1 in process).
FR: Clear goals, measurable checkpoints, weekly check‑ins, resources to succeed, written timeline.
+1 options: Add an extra coaching session, provide a peer mentor, offer access to a learning stipend tied to the PIP goals.
Example 2: Romantic relationship ending
FR: Divide shared costs fairly; agree logistics for housing, pets, and belongings; return items respectfully; keep private matters private.
+1 options: Cover movers, be flexible on move‑out timing, pay final utilities, leave the security deposit neutral, write a short note of appreciation that acknowledges the good without reopening hurt.
Script you can use
“I’m trying to be a bit better than fair. I’ll cover the movers and be flexible on the date so the transition is less stressful for both of us. I’ll also handle the final utilities to close things cleanly.”
Boundaries that help
No blame in public.
One clear, kind explanation in private - then stick to logistics.
If emotions spike, take a timed pause and return to the plan.
Example 2: The Vendor
A project slips. You offer to eat a portion of costs and deliver an extra internal workshop to make the client whole.
Reputation Moment: Own the miss; over‑correct thoughtfully.
Objections & Guardrails
“Won’t people exploit this?”
Use FR+1, not FR+∞. Be generous once and watch for patterns. If behavior is consistently bad‑faith, revert to FR only.
“What if I can’t afford it?”
Make the +1 low‑cost/high‑signal: time, clarity, documentation, introductions, a thoughtful reference, a small convenience that matters a lot to them.
“Am I setting a precedent?”
Yes—and it’s a good one. You’re signaling that you act with integrity under pressure. Keep notes so you can explain decisions case‑by‑case.
“What if they were in the wrong?”
You can still exit with grace without endorsing their behavior. Your +1 can be empathy and clean process, not money.
“Isn’t this naive?”
Naive is pretending reputations don’t travel. FR+1 is strategic generosity: small, finite gestures that buy trust and reduce long‑tail friction.
Practical Tools
The FR+1 One‑Minute Worksheet
Situation: What went wrong, in one sentence?
FR Baseline: What would a neutral third party call fair?
+1 Option (pick one): Time / Money / Effort / Access / Flexibility.
Script: One sentence that states your intent (“I’m trying to be a bit better than fair by…”).
Deliverables & Dates: Who does what by when?
Post‑mortem note: What did we learn? What will we do differently next time?
Signals that your +1 landed
The other party can clearly describe what you did beyond FR.
Tension drops. Logistics move forward.
Weeks later, you still feel comfortable with your choices.
Closing
Your reputation is the sum of how you behave when things go south. Try not to hurt because something went south; try to be glad you held your head high. The FR+1 rule gives you a simple, repeatable way to do that:
Find what’s fair and reasonable. Then do a little more - and say so.
Short‑term, it may feel “costly.” Over the long run, it’s a bargain that buys trust, future partnerships, and a permanent seat at the table.